Living Hazzardously

Little pieces of our journey with Jesus

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The Haze

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I am sitting looking out the window at a wall of white, it’s not smoke this time but rather a wall of haze that fills the air. The humidity is “rainforest like”. I search my weather app and look at where my kids and grandbabies are…. Jacob is the worst off of all and Alex has it the best. But not far behind the worst is Chris. 

This got me thinking about how we live our lives, in a haze… ya, we are so blessed in the USA, I think of my many friends and readers in China, Singapore, Taiwan, Hongkong, Belgium, Oman, UAE, Israel, Brazil, Peru, France, UK, Canada and about 50 more. I wonder how they find my blog, what they think when they read it and how a world of HAZE can still show the light. The truth and honesty of a God that loves us so much he gave the ultimate gift so that he may spend eternity with us…. We are all going to be somewhere for eternity, I’m glad I know I will be with a good, loving GOD. 

The haze is so thick, I can’t see across the field today. I wonder what is beyond the edge of the haze… is it a bear looking for some rotten smelly snack? Is there a fox trying to sneak up on one of our hens? Is there a skunk that is wandering the woods looking for a big juicy grub? 

I think of my life, I wandered so long, looking for significance, value and meaning… I see our Guys at Sam’s Place, looking for the same thing I was in search of… wanding around looking for something to fill our cravings, never finding the food that satisfies forever, but finding a quick grub or skinny chicken, or a forgotten road kill… never satisfied for more than a day, and back at it, on the search again…

I see the growth of some of our guys and the desire of others to destroy the lives of themselves and anyone around them. I was once that rotten soul, bringing anyone around me down with me. I sold drugs and I supplied enough “ill-repute” to destroy many folks that struggled… but I was not the first, this chain of destruction that ended with me came from a long line of people “hell bent” on destruction. 

We get guys like that every so often, perhaps a lie from them or perhaps the facility where they currently reside in.. They want him gone so badly that they are willing to “leave out certain information” in order to get them out of their care and make this guy “someone else’s problem”… But the truth be told? We have a fantastic group of guys now! Believe it or not, the influence is not from within Sam’s Place but from outside Sam’s Place. Just because we have a zero tolerance for alcohol, marijuana and other drugs, this doesn’t mean our guys are strong enough to resist the forces that are lurking in the back yard. 

As soon as we get one “source” dried up and secured, there comes another. It’s almost like the world wants our guys challenged daily, tempted always and I cant even tell you how many outside of Sam’s Place remind us “BUT ITS LEGAL” … legal does not mean healthy, safe or good…. When you are in the battle for mental health, one joint can mean the difference between getting a job or getting a bed in Anoka state hospital. There is no safe level of substance use. Only zero!

The haze might make it hard to see the truth but listening to God’s voice is never skewed by the Haze. Don’t get me wrong, you can be “tricked” to thinking what you hear is truth. But if you listen long enough, intently enough and don’t believe the lies, it gets easier every day to hear the truth of God. For some of us, it’s just harder. We have listened to so many voices and so many lies that it becomes hard to know the truth from the one in the next bedroom that is tempting you every minute, every day and every way… “Hey man, I see you are having a bad day, I can help, take a hit!”

To know the truth is to love the truth, to listen to a lie is to live life in a haze. In the haze it’s harder to know what is really going on. The smokey haze of life is like the smokey haze of substance use.

We all have a haze in our life, some is from the drugs we use and some is from the life we choose.

Today? Surrender to truth, but HOW?? Well, if you don’t know Jesus, ask him in the quiet of your heart for him to reveal the truth to you. He is there and he is GOOD. Why are you fighting his goodness? And if you “know” Jesus, what are you doing for the guy living in the haze? Have you done everything you can to help another person? Does that other person know who Jesus is? Go for a walk, beyond the limits of this hazy world and find another that is alone in that haze and help them hear the truth of God’s Love. 

In service of the one that clears the haze, C.

When the sun shines at Sam’s Place

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The sun rose quickly but was not seen, the smoke that filled the air that morning was suffocating and thick. The sun’s rays hit the sky and created a reddish glow and although the sun was there, you could only feel the heat in the air… the air… it was choking, burning and I felt weak… I thought “Am I sick?”

The AC had just been started a week earlier, and I can’t even imagine how it would have felt that day without the windows closed and AC on high. It’s an old building, I imaged how bad it would have been if the smoke had hit only a couple weeks earlier… The AC was heavenly.

The guys still ventured out from time to time but I noticed the front door squeaking less often that day. I heard one person say the air quality was the “worst recorded air quality in world history”… Was that true? I don’t know. What I do know is I was working outside all day and it was taking its toll… Buggars, I know, we don’t talk about body functions but I knew the mucus system was in overload that day, nasal passages swollen and smoke being filtered, still not enough…. It was a long day, but I was glad we had done so much to control the indoor air quality for our Guys at Sam’s Place… I will take that as a win in every way.

Thanks to some grants that helped ease the costs and made it possible: Blandin Foundation, IRRRB, Bigfork Valley Community Foundation, Spring Lake Heating and Air and more… we pooled together to make the lives of our guys safer, just in the nick of time.

I worked hard installing the 19 indoor mini-split heads, days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, the planning, research and finally the implementation…

Is it cool now? Yes.

Is the indoor air cleaner? Yes.

Are there BIG smiles from ear to ear? Yes.

Is it safer for our guys that use inhalers? YES!!

And so that story goes. A big win at Sam’s Place. Thanks to all our local supporters, grant opportunities and people that simply care, and show how much they care by HELPING Sam’s Place succeed! Making life a bit more bearable and allowing our guys to focus on getting life back on track, one cool bedroom at a time. 

In the service of the one that gave it all, C.

My secret is I have battled anxiety for years.

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Many times we hear how everyone needs therapy for anxiety, but is that what we really need? Is therapy a good idea? Is therapy a dark hole that consumes us? Your opinion matters.

Recently I have been looking into this matter a bit deeper, it actually started on a Monday morning at Sam’s Place in our wisdom study… Proverbs… 

Pr 14:23 

In all labor there is profit,

But mere talk leads only to poverty 

Talking non stop about our problems can keep us so focused on our problems that we can never get past our problems… I am a very “feely” guy, I can empathize with almost anyone and it’s almost like I can feel the pain they feel, BUT… There also comes a time when sympathy is counter productive. Talk is cheap. Speak with your actions. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps… 

You absolutely can not change the past, but you can direct your future… to be stuck in the past, looping over and over and never moving ahead is a deadly trap of anxiety and depression. 

The bible says to take every thought captive. So ask yourself this question: Do you want your thoughts to control you? Or do you want to control your thoughts? Anxiety has two basic components 1- thoughts and 2-feelings… Can you change your thoughts? Can you change your feelings? If the answer is no to either of these questions, you believe a lie… the answer is definitely yes. You can change thoughts and feelings. Are all thoughts good? Productive? Positive? Are all feelings good? Productive? Positive? This answer is absolutely NO. 

God gives us such a clear direction in this area of “WORRY”  or “ANXIETY” ohh I know, you have been told “It’s not your fault that you have anxiety.” Please ask yourself this question: Can you  have anxiety when you have positive & productive thoughts?

But maybe, you have been told anxiety is a chemical imbalance …. But it can not be measured? so how much “imballance”.

Has anyone ever said that anxiety will just go away by continuing to entertain negative thoughts about what might happen? Or is the focus always “Take a pill and call me in the morning”… Is the “cure” to anxiety thought control?

Don’t get me wrong, I truly believe there is a place for the little pill, but I have yet to see anyone “cure” anxiety by taking a pill. I have seen the pills destroy lives, numb emotions and make people so dependent on big pharma that they will never get off the pills… but I have personally had success helping others, I have personally seen others have success and I am currently seeing myself experience success by believing in GODS word… and especially one small verse… This changed my life. I was on the edge of the cliff, literally anxiety was ending my earthly life and God revealed one verse to me… 

“and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” in this verse we are not talking about anxiety directly but rather it is about spiritual war fare, it talks about the power of war that is not physical but rather in the spiritual world…  but the command is still… “TAKE EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE”  so, controlling thoughts is reasonably assumed as attainable?  YES! And if we are capable of taking crazy, run away, overwhelming thoughts captive… Well, I believed God’s word! I did it… this was and still is not easy, it takes days, weeks, months and years of discipline at the minute and hourly level. 

I know it’s not easy, but neither is eating an elephant, if you decide to eat it in one bite! So take it one day, one minute, or maybe one decision at a time. Make that effort once, and repeat… have you ever noticed that one person that is always a joy to be around? Do they only think about themselves? NO… A wise man once said “It is impossible to be anxious unless you are thinking about yourself” so does that mean the answer is to not think about yourself? No, that is not the answer, let me explain with a self exercise:

Please close your eyes for 10 seconds or so and think about an elephant, big grey, long tusks, standing in the corner of the room, ears waving, kicking up dust… now close your eyes and picture it, get as many details as you can in 10-30 seconds with your eyes closed, do it now, don’t open your eyes, just picture your elephant, I will wait, please don’t read the next paragraph until you have done this simple request, don’t cheat yourself on this…. 

Ok, you did that? Now picture the elephant again, but this time when you close your eyes… dont think about your elephant, dont think about anything else, just stop thinking about the elephant for 5 seconds, remember, don’t think about the elephant, close your eyes and force yourself to not think about the elephant… 5 seconds only and then continue to read my post… ok go!

It’s impossible to “not think about the elephant” but if you are good at controlling your thoughts, you know the trick! The trick to not thinking about the elephant is not will power, it’s simply thinking about something else, try it! Need an object to think about? Think about a giraffe, or pick anything… Ready? Think!… 

See, you did it! Replace your “self thought” that creates anxiety with “thinking about others”

Today? Take that thought captive, just once, ask how it felt, and then repeat! Repeat this until you make it a habit. You may need some help from others, find a good Christian friend that understands this concept and practices it and they will help you learn the secret to overcome anxiety… It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. 

Meanwhile, I will pray you find success, like I have… not perfectly but maybe  just a little bit and then “REPEAT”

In service to the KING! C.